Journey for a Dream

“Bhaiyya, ek pen lelo bhaiyya . Bhook lagi hai bhaiyya ” said the little girl at the traffic signal in the heart of New Delhi, Connaught Place – the ninth most expensive office location in the world. I barely lifted my head from my smartphone to take notice of her leaning against the auto rickshaw taking me to the railway station. I was typing a critical email to one of the clients about how our work was transforming lives across different states. I saw her for a brief moment before nodding (saying no) my head. Just when she was about to walk away, our eyes met. She was barely ten years old, wore a shabby maroon frock, her hair was neatly tied back and one of her eyes was completely grey. She wore a dejected look. All this happened in maybe three seconds before I turned back to typing my email “…in one of the states, over 22 lakh children are directly empowered to...” My hand shut the phone down before completing the sentence. For the next 20 minutes, I stared into the maddening t

The tragedy of commons is nowhere more visible than on our Indian streets. In his book, Games Indians Play, V. Raghunathan remarks that Indians are privately smart and publicly dumb. I have often myself manoeuvred the chaotic systems in our country in ways that are commonly and privately “accepted” but not politically and publicly acceptable – be it the footpath driving to avoid the maddening traffic, the throwing of handkerchief in an overcrowded public transport system, the odd greasing of palms to bypass the never-ending application process or even calling up a friend’s uncle to book a seat in the upcoming cricket match. If and when confronted by one of our morally upright Shaktimaan like friends, we say (we don’t say Sorry Shaktimaan), “This is how everyone works here”, or “Government should figure out a way to provide better”, or in the best case, “oh, I was in a hurry”. As a socialist nation, Indian since its independence has lifted millions out of poverty. It worked to a l

“Symptoms, those you believe you recognize, seem to you irrational because you take them in an isolated manner, and you want to interpret them directly.” – Jacques Lacan, French Psychoanalyst. Waking up every morning to a feeling of loss and anxiety, over a period of time shuts down one’s system. The loss, unexplainable. The anxiety, unintended. Put together a lack of direction and you have the most painful and soul sucking emotions – unworthiness and under-confidence. The duo can bring down any human being! One of the most treasured and relied upon emotions I had was anger. It helped me bring an energy to the table that I couldn’t have imagined, every single day. The anger was not misdirected but channeled well. It could get me through difficult situations by the sheer adrenaline that it generated when in need. Most of my time with my kids earlier was spent thus. Failures didn’t matter because every morning I would be filled with anger that fueled my perseverance. I believ