Journey for a Dream

As I wait for my early morning flight with heavy eyes and some disorientation, I feel surprised I'm not the least bit irritated or annoyed at it. I've always had trouble with being physically drained out, it makes me cranky. But today, the 7th night in a row that I've slept for less than 3 hours, I feel satisfied, at peace!  It has been a maddening week and I could use a good sleep but my mind keeps racing back to yesterday's meeting with the Chief Minister. There has been an average of 10-15% reduction in public grievances in the state, read one of the many achievements on the slide. I didn't think of it much then. It was just a number. But now, I'm not sure of the emotions running around thinking about what that actually means, changing lives at a massive scale, an entire state. Multiple institutions cutting across various departments have been impacted, indirectly reaching tens of thousands of people. I have never even seen so many people. May be that i

"Take a leap of faith," I said to myself not long ago. The decision to choose career over other things had arrived too early on, but the jump was too big to let go. The amount of learning that could happen, the amount of depth I could gain and above all that, the trust that my people placed in me that I could achieve, pushed me to pursue, working from the highest office in a state government! Within a week, the shiny halo around it started seeming like a crown of thorns! The learning curve has been steep over the past few months. So steep, that sometimes I shudder to even look back at how far I've come. I've always loved that, when I can learn a lot in very little time, it gives me a sense of being. The pace at which things have happened, on multiple fronts in my life, make me wonder if it all is leading to something or I'm just being pushed around by events. Banking on my willingness and capability to learn, I made the leap of faith into the role that I fel

Disclaimer: Originally published on  https://www.fourthlion.in/ - Click here to go to the original article “ ...the street smart politician is better at making the wheels of the bureaucracy creak, however slowly in favour of his constituents” said RBI Governor Mr. Raghuram Rajan in a recent speech. We often hear similar statements from politicians, academicians and the general public. The statements more often than not use adjectives such as slow, creaky, rusty etc., for the “government machinery”. I think it’s fair to say that these hold the bureaucracy responsible for all the frustration in working with the government. Having been in close contact with top bureaucrats in the country and also the ones far below in the food chain and having worked with them for a while now, I find the above statements grossly unjustified. I’m not saying that the system isn’t slow but that there’s only so little that the system can do in its present state. Firstly, what is a system if not the

Adaptation is an evolutionary trait in all life forms! But it doesn't explain why and how life on a daily basis cannot adapt to the changing environment, relations, situations and above all, idea of self! What makes up an ideal transition into a "new" life? Throughout the 3 hour flight to Delhi, I was both anxious and excited. Excited because what I had been wanting to do for 12 years, was waiting for me. Anxious because, well, what if I'm not ready? What if I don't fit in? What if I had made a wrong choice? What if the 12 year me was wrong? As I stepped foot onto the hard ground, the first thing to hit me was of course the heat. But then, indifference took over! I was travelling with colleagues who I had barely been introduced to. I had no clue what lay ahead at the company retreat (yes, that’s how I got to start my new job) and to be honest I didn't even try to find out. I was still getting over the fellowship and the insane heat (that I've never b

As I draw close to the end of my journey I cannot help but to think about what I am leaving behind. Have I really made any difference? Have I achieved something? Have I laid foundation to something else? What is it that I will be remembered for here? An eerie silence is what I get back when I ask myself these questions! The journey has been nuanced and complex, the experience so valuable but not entirely explainable. I don't think I will ever be able to capture everything I've learnt or done because its more about what I have come out as. Like Stephen King said, " There are no maps of change. You either come out on the other side or you don't." But my doubts are beyond me, they are about the things I'm leaving behind. Most importantly, the kids. I have never thought of myself as having been a great teacher, I probably wasn't either. But what I did do was put these children on a different life path in terms of how they function. I removed those ti

"I want him to get educated that's all", he almost shouted fighting back a tear in his eye. "He's my younger brother and it is my responsibility to make him successful. But he has not come to school for 2 months now. What do I do?", questioned someone who looked quite young to be speaking like this to the principal of a government school. "Madam, you ask him. He comes home at 10pm everyday. When I ask him where he was and why he was late he rudely asks me who I was to question him. Last month I had come to ask for TC so I can put him in some hostel but due to some problem I couldn't follow up." The principal was assessing the situation with the class teacher standing behind the irregular student whose elder brother was angry, saddened and determined all at once. She looked at the student and said, "What is your problem? Why aren't you coming to school? Would you rather be in a hostel?", the student nodded. He didn't real