Journey for a Dream

Disclaimer: Originally published on  https://www.fourthlion.in/ - Click here to go to the original article “ ...the street smart politician is better at making the wheels of the bureaucracy creak, however slowly in favour of his constituents” said RBI Governor Mr. Raghuram Rajan in a recent speech. We often hear similar statements from politicians, academicians and the general public. The statements more often than not use adjectives such as slow, creaky, rusty etc., for the “government machinery”. I think it’s fair to say that these hold the bureaucracy responsible for all the frustration in working with the government. Having been in close contact with top bureaucrats in the country and also the ones far below in the food chain and having worked with them for a while now, I find the above statements grossly unjustified. I’m not saying that the system isn’t slow but that there’s only so little that the system can do in its present state. Firstly, what is a system if not ...

Adaptation is an evolutionary trait in all life forms! But it doesn't explain why and how life on a daily basis cannot adapt to the changing environment, relations, situations and above all, idea of self! What makes up an ideal transition into a "new" life? Throughout the 3 hour flight to Delhi, I was both anxious and excited. Excited because what I had been wanting to do for 12 years, was waiting for me. Anxious because, well, what if I'm not ready? What if I don't fit in? What if I had made a wrong choice? What if the 12 year me was wrong? As I stepped foot onto the hard ground, the first thing to hit me was of course the heat. But then, indifference took over! I was travelling with colleagues who I had barely been introduced to. I had no clue what lay ahead at the company retreat (yes, that’s how I got to start my new job) and to be honest I didn't even try to find out. I was still getting over the fellowship and the insane heat (that I've never b...

As I draw close to the end of my journey I cannot help but to think about what I am leaving behind. Have I really made any difference? Have I achieved something? Have I laid foundation to something else? What is it that I will be remembered for here? An eerie silence is what I get back when I ask myself these questions! The journey has been nuanced and complex, the experience so valuable but not entirely explainable. I don't think I will ever be able to capture everything I've learnt or done because its more about what I have come out as. Like Stephen King said, " There are no maps of change. You either come out on the other side or you don't." But my doubts are beyond me, they are about the things I'm leaving behind. Most importantly, the kids. I have never thought of myself as having been a great teacher, I probably wasn't either. But what I did do was put these children on a different life path in terms of how they function. I removed those ti...

"I want him to get educated that's all", he almost shouted fighting back a tear in his eye. "He's my younger brother and it is my responsibility to make him successful. But he has not come to school for 2 months now. What do I do?", questioned someone who looked quite young to be speaking like this to the principal of a government school. "Madam, you ask him. He comes home at 10pm everyday. When I ask him where he was and why he was late he rudely asks me who I was to question him. Last month I had come to ask for TC so I can put him in some hostel but due to some problem I couldn't follow up." The principal was assessing the situation with the class teacher standing behind the irregular student whose elder brother was angry, saddened and determined all at once. She looked at the student and said, "What is your problem? Why aren't you coming to school? Would you rather be in a hostel?", the student nodded. He didn't real...

Recently, a Police Officer died in Punjab because of terrorist violence. On the same day, one of the kids in my school was burnt by his own brother. Why? Because the 7 year old used bad language. A week before that, two kids got into a fight and one of them ended up with a torn eye lid. The father of the “accused” arrived at school and beat up his child with a big cane! Yet another 7 year old demands to be hit by the teachers lest they want him to create chaos in the class. From probably the beginning of mankind, violence has played a key role. As a society, we might abhor violence but we resort to it ever so often. Our answer for murder is capital punishment, disagreement, is war and argument, a slap! What are we trying to prove here? That violence needs to have its “right reasons?” This is how I see it and this is how it probably works as well. Child is born. It starts assimilating the countless information that is present. Slowly it starts imitating the other humans around...

Having made a significant impact in the lives of 32 kids, I felt confident to move back to the city I called home. Sustainable change was what I had left behind and also, it was the very thing I wanted to bring here. I now had the bandwidth, network and support system to do so much more than I ever could! Welcomed by an ever smiling HM and 60 bubbling 3rd graders, I felt immediately at home. Being placed in a government school, I now had access to large grounds, spacious classrooms and freedom to move my kids anywhere I wanted. The uniform, food, books etc., were taken care of by the government. I had nothing to worry about, or so I thought! It was a wave that hit me in the face on the very day I started. During lunch, kids in the entire school (strength of 650+) just ran helter skelter, throwing food around, beating each other up, playing, shouting and every bit of chaos you can imagine. I have seen violence, way worse than I've seen here, but this is beyond violence, this i...

“You go. I will take care of him”, I said as she left with a heavy heart and wet eyes. While I walked him down to the office, I was confused and moved simultaneously. He was suffering from severe stomach ache which I had dismissed earlier. “Please call his parents and ask them to pick him up”, I requested the school admin who then took charge and asked the kid to sit down while she made the call. I was born with a certain set of luxuries that most of my kids don’t enjoy. I find it very difficult to understand their intricate and delicate issues because I have never known for them to exist in the first place;  I'm  a  koop mandook, to borrow a phrase from one of my senior colleagues. I have enjoyed the luxury of choice, of having an opinion, of attention and many more such subtleties of an upper middle class life. To come out of that and witness the world is not just overwhelming but also scary at times. But change is not easy, I knew that! I try my best to exp...

"Education is the greatest tool of a society" said Chanakya almost two millennia ago. Little did he realize that it will not hold true about two thousand years later. He did not take into account the shackles our society places on individuals and communities. Or may be he did and it is only I who is being cynical about it all. But how can I not be? I see children shaping their view of the world every single minute. My duty is to ensure they are able to make the right choices. I can sit any of my kids down and ask them about the various values they hold dear and how they can make sustainable changes in their class, family and society at large. They will give me answers that might very well put a saint to shame. We discuss equality of gender, religion, communities etc., to a large extent. They all articulate it well enough. But is it their perspective or is it their answer? I can never know. Living in extreme conditions, emotionally, physically and mentally, I believe...

"Today we shall all make sure we finish our work independently and on time, unlike yesterday. This will help us make time for the games at the end of the day. Are you all ready?" "Yeeessss!" As I transitioned into my lesson I felt proud of myself and the class. They genuinely listened and engaged. But then again, as always, there were a few who were drifting away. I have always had this issue. We start off well, like it was the best day ever then one starts abusing the other, then there is nudging, pushing and then before you realize what's happening, you can see the entire class indulging in fights or other related activities. Some who manage to stay away from all the violence, become busy in cleaning their bags, endlessly sharpening their pencils etc. Where do I even begin to solve this? I had figured out long back that these students lacked the skill to differentiate between right and wrong. They idolized violent dons, emulated local thugs and shrugge...

As we turned left onto the road that lead to our destination, I sensed something amiss. The two students sitting with me in the auto had fallen silent. They were vigorously turning their heads to assimilate everything that was there in front of their eyes. They were trying to grasp all the happenings around and understand its purpose and existence. They had never gone beyond a one kilometre radius of their house, ever! After having decided that I needed the kids to witness the working of a "normal" world, I announced amidst all the excitement in class, "In a week, the first three students who show values through actions will get to go out." Everyone wanted to help their friends, go out of their way to accommodate someone etc. Although, this momentum did not sustain after a couple of days, I pushed through. At the end of it, I had two boys and a girl who had made it. The two boys were anxious and overjoyed. But the girl... "I not come bhaiyya. I go to ...